Close My Eyes Forever
by yesfangirlingismylife
Summary: *One-shot* Two months ago, Tris and Tobias broke up. Their paths cross once more, and they have the chance to come together again. But will they take it? (Spoiler alert: They do.) They spend the evening together, and old memories will reminisce. "Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."


**Close My Eyes Forever**

Everyday.

Everyday I tried to get over him.

We broke up. That's that.

We decided it'd be best to not see each other anymore because... Well, just, because.

But it'd been two months. Two months since we'd broken up.

I'd flirted. With Cole, with Gabe, with Adrian. The only guy I thought I had feelings for though was Cole. He was so sweet. And athletic. And charming. And funny. And then Christina told him I liked him. I freaked out on her, but then she told me he said he liked me back.

I was torn between relief and disappointment.

Thinking I could get over him because Cole was there, I told myself I liked him. I told myself he was perfect. But he hadn't asked me out yet. We'd been acting the same though. Like friends. Even if he _had _ask me out, I'm wasn't totally sure I'd say yes. Cole and I were coming _this_ close to dating. I mean, we'd kissed, for Christ's sake. And hello, we were 21-year-old college students, not sophomores in high school. But it never felt right. His touch, his words...

It hadn't felt right because they weren't Tobias's. They weren't Tobias's hands, they weren't Tobias's words, and it wasn't Tobias's kiss. I told myself it would take time to get over him, and Cole was just speeding up that recovery. Tobias and I had still made weird eye contact on campus, but cowered away and brushed it off. When I looked into his eyes when he wasn't looking, I saw sadness. I saw loathing. Well, I'd seen it when he'd look at Cole. That'd been the extent of his hatred. But when we'd see each other on campus, his eyes would soften. They'd become more rounded, they'd become younger.

Like when he'd been sleeping. I remember when we'd take naps together on the couch and I'd wake up first I'd just admire him for a few minutes before waking him.

My thoughts were interrupted by a low voice. "Excuse me?"

I looked at the cash register and ordering screen and said, "Welcome to Crescent Moon's Bakery, what can I get..." I finally looked up and saw him. "...you? Tobias," I said softly.

"Tris. Um, wow. You look great. Haven't talked to you in a while," he said, eyebrows were still raised.

"Yeah. Um... Yeah. What can I get you?"

He faintly sighed. "Just a blueberry muffin."

I smiled sadly as I tapped the screen. "You always did love those," I whispered.

Before he could say anything back, I walked away to get the muffin.

There I was, thinking about him, and then he showed up out of the blue? I couldn't tell if this were a good or bad thing.

I walked back to the register and said simply, "$2.00."

He handed me the two one dollar bills and said, "So, Tris, I've been thinking about you, um, a lot…" He stared at the counter, then looked up. "Uh, maybe you'd like to grab a coffee sometime? Catch up a—a little?"

I smiled and did the same, and stared at the counter. "Yeah. That actually sounds really nice. I actually get off in a few minutes. I'm sure my boss will let me go early, if now's an okay time for you?"

He nodded with another faint smile. "Sure."

I turned away and walked toward the back. Once I rounded the corner, I pressed my back to the wall. Tobias Eaton. Tobias motherfucking Eaton.

I walked in the direction of my boss and knocked on Callie's door.

"Come in," she said.

I stepped inside and smiled. "Hey, Callie."

"Hello, Tris. What can I do for you?"

"Well, my shift ends in five minutes, so I was wondering if I could leave now? An old... friend... I haven't seen in a while came into the shop, an he asked me if I wanted to grab a coffee."

"He?" she asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

I blushed. "Yes."

"Go ahead," she chuckled.

"Thanks, Callie. I'll see you tomorrow." As I walked out of the office, I pursed my lips. I went to my locker and took off my apron. Under it was a white collared T-shirt and black jeans, the standard uniform. I quickly grabbed the extra set of clothes I kept in there and changed in the middle of the locker room. Luckily, no one had came in.

I changed into a black top with lace in the back and simple blue jeans. I threw back on my black Vans and put my hair into a ponytail that went over my left shoulder. I checked the time. It'd only been one minute. Grinning at the time, I walked back into the shop to see Tobias had been beaming and on his phone.

"That was quick," he said with a smile.

"We girls and our magical powers," I chuckled.

He laughed.

Something I'd always admired about him was his laugh. It was something so... _him._

"So I was thinking we could go to this awesome coffee place downtown," he said when I didn't say anything.

I smiled. "Sounds good to me. Hopefully you still have good taste in restaurants."

He copied my expression. "Is the L-train okay? It'd be quite a long walk. Actually, are you okay with walking?"

"Perfectly okay." _The longer with you, the better, _I thought.

"Alright, walking it is."

We stayed silent for a few moments.

I didn't say anything. He'd always been the one to start the conversations.

"So you work at Crescent Moon's?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. Gotta start paying off those student loans somehow, right?" I said with a small laugh.

"I know how it feels. Are you still studying to be a physician?"

I nodded again. "Sure am. And you a business manager?"

He nodded.

"I still can't picture you behind a desk." I laughed.

"You never could," he said as he looked down at me with those amazing, big blue eyes. "I wouldn't always be behind a desk though. I just want to open up my own gym."

"Well, yeah, I know that, but still."

He smiled and looked down. "So how've you been?" Then he looked over at me.

I looked back up at him. "I've been… Yeah. I've kind of just been there, but not really _there_, you know?"

He nodded with a sigh. "Yeah. I know exactly you feel."

"So, uh, you still working at The Pit?" I asked. The Pit… The Pit was a place where Tobias and I would go frequently. It also happened to be the place where we'd met for the first time.

He didn't answer for a long while. Then he said, "Ah, no. I didn't really like being there after we…"

I sighed. "Yeah."

"Hey," he said, "do you remember how upset your and my friends were when we—"

I interrupted him. I didn't want to hear him say it. "Yeah," I laughed. "Christina was trying to force me to call you."

He nodded. "Zeke did the same."

"Here we are," he said, then looked up.

_Scarlet's_, the sign read.

He held the door open for me and I stepped in. What I was met with was not a coffee shop. It was a laid-back restaurant.

I turned around and looked at Tobias with a smirk. "This isn't a coffee shop."

He smugly smiled. "Good observation."

I rolled my eyes. "Table for two please."

The woman grabbed two menus and smiled at us. She started walking in the direction of what presumably would be our table.

"Your waiter will be out shortly," she said when we sat down.

I picked up the menu and immediately started scanning through it.

Then I asked Tobias, "What's their best beer?"

"I personally love their Redd's Apple Ale."

"Alright. I'll get that."

"You know, they have really good cheese fries with bacon. You maybe want to split one of those? They're huge."

I nodded. "Sure. I've always liked those."

I set my menu down on the edge of the table, and so did Tobias.

Then the waiter came over, which made me want to slam my face into the table. Somehow I managed not to.

So I smiled. "Cole. Hey. I didn't know you worked here."

"Tris," he said, beaming, then turned over to Tobias. "And Four." His smile faded. "I, uh, actually just started here yesterday, so forgive me if I screw up somehow." He gave a strained chuckle.

Cole then cleared his throat. "What can I get you guys?"

Since Cole was looking at me, I nodded my head toward Tobias.

He said, "We'll both have a Redd's. We're also splitting one of your cheese fries."

Cole nodded stiffly. "Okay. I'll have those right out."

"Oh, and Cole, could we have a side of ranch and sour cream? She's always liked sour cream with those," Tobias said, smug.

Cole nodded. "Yep. I'll get your drinks out to you both."

When he was out of hearing distance, I started laughing. "You're horrible."

"What? Why?"

"To Cole. You acted like we were on an actual date because you know he likes me. And what I hate admitting is that it was hilarious."

"Well I wasn't _trying _to be horrible to him," he chuckled.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "You _so _were."

He shrugged and mumbled while looking down, "Maybe just a little."

I started laughing. "Every time I see you looking at him I see absolute loathing in your eyes. Why?"

"Because he's better than me," he said bluntly.

I raised my eyebrows. "You're joking."

He shook his head. "He's got money, charm, looks, a scholarship for football… And worst of all, he's got _you._"

I smiled. "That's what I was starting to think."

"I see a 'but' coming in my near future," he said, smiling a little.

"_But_," I said, "but he's not you."

Cole set down our beers and said, "Anything else, for now?"

We shook our heads.

"Alright, the fries should be out soon." He walked away with a pained smile on his face.

"Plus," I said, "he hasn't grown the balls the actually ask me out yet, so I guess he's too late."

"Too late for what?" he asked with a smirk.

"For alllllll thiiiiiis," I laughed as I motioned up and down my body.

Tobias started laughing too, his face in his hands.

I took a sip of my beer when I was done laughing. "Damn, this stuff is good."

He took a sip. "Definitely better than coffee."

* * *

"Wait, wait, wait." I laughed so hard tears were in my eyes, and then I ate a fry. "So—So Uriah told Zeke that if he ran down the street in a diaper that he'd give him fifty bucks?"

Tobias nodded. He too was laughing hysterically. "Yeah. They were so drunk they didn't remember anything and the next day Zeke asked why he had fifty dollars in his wallet."

I threw my hand on the table and doubled over in laughter. "That's—that's great."

When we finally calmed down, I took a sip of my beer.

"You know," Tobias said, smile had still been present, "Cole's been giving me dirty looks this entire time we've been laughing."

I raised an eyebrow and ate another fry. "Oh, really?"

He put his hands in the air in defense. "I was just telling you."

"I don't think I'd want to be with a guy like him though."

"What do you mean?" he asked, eyebrows sown together.

I shrugged and wiped my hands on my napkin, suddenly not hungry any longer. "I don't know. If he can't grow the balls to ask me out after we've blatantly told each other we like the other, then he's a coward. I like brave men. I don't deal with cowards." The entire time I'd been talking to him, I hadn't looked him in the eye. I couldn't.

Surprisingly, when I looked up, he was smiling softly. "You'd always tell me how brave I was."

"Because you were." Heat came up into face, causing me to blush. "You still are."

"How would you know?" he asked, listed head.

I shrugged. "You were brave enough to ask me to coffee today. I know I wouldn't have been the one to do it."

"That's was _not_ brave," he said, "that was on impulse."

"Well, whatever you did, it worked."

He chuckled. "Yeah. I was just so charming the way I stuttered." He rolls his eyes, but smiled.

"Aw, hey, I thought it was cute," I snickered. "I'll be right back, I'm going to use the ladies' room." I saw the bright red sign and followed it when I stood up.

Before I could enter, Cole approached me.

"Tris," he said. "Why are you with him?"

I scoffed. "You have no right to be jealous in this situation, Cole."

"Yes, I do. I thought we had something."

"So did I. But maybe if you'd grow a pair and ask me out you'd make progress, rather than running in place."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Tris, would you like to go on a date with me?"

"No," I said simply, then walked into the restroom so he couldn't follow me.

I put my hands on the sink and leaned against it, looking down. When I finally looked up, I saw myself in the mirror. I raised my hand to my hair and took out the hair tie, and let it fall over my shoulder. I ran a hand through it to make it wavy.

Tobias Eaton.

I took deep breath. Why was I there? And with him, of all people? He's my _ex_. But I guess every situation's different, right? I mean the only reason we'd broken up was because we didn't have time to see each other. What changed? I felt like it'd be heartbreak all over again.

But the more guys I'd met, the more I'd realized they weren't like Tobias. Nobody was like Tobias.

I walked back out to our table with a confident smile on my face.

"You took your hair out?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Not a big ponytail person."

He smirked. "Neither am I."

"So I saw you talking to Cole. Everything alright?" he asked.

I looked to the TV that hung on the wall. "Yeah. Perfect."

He sighed. "Tris. I can see right through you. What's going on?" He grabbed my hand from across the table and entwined them.

Our joined hands were the only thing I could look at. "Cole asked me why I was with you, then I told him he had no right to be jealous, 'cause, you know, he hasn't asked me out. He as saying how he thought we had something. I told him I thought we did too, but the fact that he hasn't grown the balls irritates the hell outta me. So he asked me out."

His grip tightened on mine. "What'd you say?" He stared at his beer with a stone-hard expression.

I chuckled. "No."

Then he looked up and smiled. "I took care of the check, by the way, so I'm ready go when you are." He checked his phone. "Actually, it's getting late. Let me walk you back to your dorm room?"

I nodded and slid out of my seat. "Thanks."

Tobias grabbed his muffin—which I'd completely forgotten about up until now—and we walked out.

We started walking toward the direction of campus. Tobias's hand brushed against mine, then I realized he was doing this intentionally. So I grabbed his hand, and twined them together. I saw him look down at me, smiling, but I was looking straight ahead. As he remained to look at me, a smirk crept on to my face. So I finally turned toward him.

"What?"

He turned to look straight ahead. "Nothing… you're just… you're beautiful," he chuckled.

I grinned. "Thank you."

When we finally reached my dorm, Tobias led me up to my door in the complex. Just like he always used to.

I stood there with my hands in the pockets of my jeans. "I had a really great time tonight," I said.

He nodded. "So did I. A lot, actually."

"Yeah. So… I'll see you—" I'd begun to turn toward my door, but Tobias gently grabbed my arm and pulled me toward him. Our faces were millimeters apart. Then he slowly leaned forward and connected our lips. I closed my eyes. What I'd give if I could stay in this moment forever.

I set my hands on his neck and jaw line, and pressed him closer. I felt his arms slide around my waist. I slowly pulled back then said, "Should we really be doing this?"

He shook his head. "I don't care. I don't care anymore, Tris."

I sighed. "We broke up because we never saw each other. What's changed?"

"I only have three classes now instead of five," he suggested.

"Now I have five instead of six," I said, then shook my head. "I don't know if I can do this, Tobias," I whispered.

"Of course you can do this. If you want to. You're brave enough to."

I closed my eyes then opened them again. "Maybe if… Maybe if we just close our eyes forever it'll all go away. Our problems,"—I shut them—"our worries,"—I squeezed them tighter—"our situation."

So we just stood there, holding each other with our eyes closed. Ever so slightly, I leaned my lips toward his again. They touched only for a few seconds.

Then I pulled away and stepped inside my dorm.

And the last thing I saw before I shut the door was Tobias, and his eyes were open.


End file.
